You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
