idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
