So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
