Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
