You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
