I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
