Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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