Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
well you can't waste a boner
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
