There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
