guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize