Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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