And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
