I want to make a zoo with you.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
