doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
