I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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