Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
