...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize