I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
