Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
