You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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