Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
OPIZZABONMYDICK
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
