eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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