And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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