i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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