Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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