I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
