Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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