Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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