I'm jealous of your bromance
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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