Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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