my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
