she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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