New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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