All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
