i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize