and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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