I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
