I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
