I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
