once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
