R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
My hand turned me down
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
