the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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