The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
