Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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