she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
