But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
