oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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