I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
