I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
