9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize