i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
