I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
