I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
