Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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