it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
