Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
