Don't you send me to vm
Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
