Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Actions speak louder than pants.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
