is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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