I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
When are your genitals available?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
