I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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