i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
