Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
