Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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